Are You a Career Woman, or a Woman With a Career?

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There is much good to be said about today’s world of possibilities and how we as women have come along way since our grandmothers. For example, we now have the opportunity to actively pursue a career of our choices.

However, as with everything else there could be a downside to this too.

Being caught up in a career has it’s own ways. If you are a career woman, you have probably found out a lot about how certain strategies may work very well for you, while others doesn’t seem to be working at all.

In other words, you tend to do what best works of you.

However, when it comes to dating with success, here is where the confusion sets in.

Because, if you try to apply the same (success) strategies that you use for work to dating with success, chances are that – most likely – you are not experiencing the success that you want to.

Strategies for success at work usually doesn’t apply well for dating with success.

Continue reading “Are You a Career Woman, or a Woman With a Career?” »

Multitasking = Multi confusion!

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You may be thinking, ” I don’t get what multitasking has to do with dating with success. Suzette clearly must have lost her grip today…”

But this piece is actually crucial to dating with success. And the piece that I am talking about is being able to slow down and relax some more. If you are trying to hard to do it all at once, chances are that you won’t feel successful with any of it.

As women we have been told that we are great at multitasking – and sometimes we have to – but the fact is that we are not wired to do so. Our brains simply won’t cope. Consequently multitasking often leads to multi confusion which is a sure recipe for exhaustion.

Next time you find yourself multitasking on the high speed instead slow down a bit. Take a step back. Go for a short walk and clear your mind. Often times you will find the solutions when you let go of trying too hard.

The point is that when you take the time to slow down, not only will you be more productive (don’t confuse activity with productivity – multitasking doesn’t necessarily produce results) but more importantly you will be in a more relaxed state of mind.

Being in a relaxed state with an open mind is crucial to dating with success.

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Read step no 12 and get tips on how to enjoy life more.

Community

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Studies indicate that a sense of community greatly helps lower the risk of heart attacks – maybe even more so than eating Broccoli, or doing 10 push ups a day.

But why is that relevant to dating with success?

Well first of all it is thought provoking that it is (again) our basic human need for connection – in terms of community – that proves to be more beneficial to our health than what we eat (this is referred to in the book “Mind over Medicin by Dr. LIssa Rankin).

But more important we all need good health.

If you are dating you need to feel good and reduce your level of stress. Because dating while in a stressful state of mind does not lead to dating with success. Quite on the contrary it leads to exhaustion and not so successful dates.

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Read step no 11 and get tips on how to build community and stay healthy.

Intention

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Setting your intention can be very helpful when you are dating.

This is true whether you are on a “business date”, or on a romantic date.

A simple way to set your intention is to ask yourself the following question:

“What do I want from going out on this date?”

Of course, you are free to set whatever intention that you want to.

However, as one of the main obstacles to dating with success quite often has to do with (unrealistic) expectation, I would suggest that you set a very simple and doable intention which will help you experience the success that you want.

For example, “I want to relax and get to know this person which will help me decide if I want to see him again”.

Of course, “Rome was not built in one day” but it is possible to gather enough info on the first date to see, if this date is a match for a second date.

“One date at a time” will lead you to dating with success.

The benefit of setting a clear intention is:

  1. Setting an intention creates clarity and focus
  2. Setting an intention gives you a reference point to go back to
  3. Setting an intention keeps you on the ground and in the now rather than being confused

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Read step no 8 and learn more about how to date with success.

Courage

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The best way to attract your Mr. Right is by being who you are. Period!

Sounds pretty simple right, and most of you would probably agree to that…

However, in this day and age sometimes it is not always as simple as it sounds to “just be who you are”.

The collective messages we get from the media often points in a different direction.

As women (and probably men too) we are constantly bombarded with the underlying message that we are not good enough (looking) as we are, for example we are encouraged conduct to a certain body image, or social behavior.

Many times these messages and images are dictated by advertisement.

We may not think too much about it, as a lot of this kind of stuff takes place unconsciously.

But do stop to think about it! There is a whole industry out there making big money from getting women to buy what ever it takes to look and feel good (enough)”. Everything from make up to cosmetic surgery, clothing, diets and so forth.

Don’t get me wrong. I don’t believe we should go back to being cave women.

Putting your best foot firmly forward is a good thing. However, if you want to date with success and attract your Mr. Right, you have got to be who you are and not adapt to how someone else might want you to look, be or act.

Collect your courage and be the real you! 

GET SUZETTE’S DATING GUIDE TODAY and read step no 1 which is all about being you!

 

Connection

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Connection is a fundamental human need. Period!

Research shows that without connection we (especially as women) are much more likely to feel stressed which really isn’t a great state to be in if you want to date with success.

And more so, in more extreme case, dis-connection can actually lead to addiction (yes, resent research proves that most addictions, like alcohol or drugs are actually due to a sense of isolation and dis-connection).

So where am I going with all of this connection talk?

It simple. The point of this blog is to encourage you to connect and surround yourself with people who are supportive of who you are.

And what does that have to do with dating?

A heck of a lot actually. Because, if you are dating from scarcity (or a stressed state of mind) – meaning that you need a relationship merely to fill up the gap in your stomach – that would be a recipe for disaster and how not to date with success.

(Because most likely you will end up with someone who matches that feeling which is subject for a whole other blog to explore).

Rather, I encourage you to connect with a great group of people (could be anyone with whom you feel a connection) and “fill up your love-cup” before you go dating.

Filling up your love-cup means being real and having real conversations straight from your heart.

So what are ways to connect?

GET SUZETTE’S DATING GUIDE TODAY and get more tips on how to fill up your love-cup, step no 12.

Keep It Simple Sweetheart

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You’e probably already know the “KISS” formula.

I like to apply that to dating too. And here is the point. Way too often we complicate the whole dating process by making it a lot more complicated than it really is. 

For example, take the very first date. Quite often our own expectations will drive us crazy and sabotage any kind of potential. This happens when we want to get all of the answers on the very first date:

Like: Will it be forever?, could we live together, will he like my kids (pets, or ….. you name it), and so the list goes on.

But here is the catch:

The is absolutely NO way that you can know all of that within the first date. Instead, “take your time” in getting to know each other and know that the first date can be very awkward because you are both probably a bit nervous.

Take Suzette’s Dating Guide’s best tip: 

The only question you need to ask yourself after a first date is the following:

“Do I want to see him again?”

That’s it. Pretty simply wouldn’t you say?

And then after then next date you can ask yourself the same question again.

There really is no need to know all of the answers within the first few dates, as this will only add to unwanted pressure and not so successful dates.

GET SUZETTE’S DATING GUIDE TODAY step no 8, and learn more about how to have a great first date!

Match – or Not!

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When it comes to dating fear of rejection is often holding us back!

And let’s be honest, “fear of rejection” has cast its nasty spell in other areas of our lives too.

For example, how about job interviews, or selling your ideas to a new customer?

So today, we will look at the fear of rejection and recognize “fear of rejection” for what it is.

First of all, fear takes place in the mind. Fear is NOT something outside of you.

Quite on the contrary, fear lives inside YOUR mind and only you hold the key to change the patterns in your own mind (this can be a hard pill to swallow but it’s true).

Second of all, rejection is not real. 

What?

Yes, it’s true too. Rejection is not real. No one can reject you.

However, they can reject going on a date with you, or what ever it is that you have to offer. But as long as you are alive – and you are, if you are reading this blog – no one can never reject you.

Third of all and most importunely! Either there is a match or a no match, and a match would clearly want to be with you, so why would you want to waste your time on someone who doesn’t want to be with you?

GET SUZETTE’S DATING GUIDE TODAY read step no 8 and learn how to deal with the fear of rejection.

Extra bonus: You can apply this principles to social (or business) dating too!

Take Your Time

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Did you ever go on a date only to find yourself bombarded with lots of quite personal questions?

Maybe it felt uncomfortable. Because, the truth is: building trust takes time.

Some questions are appropriate on a first date and some are definitely NOT.

The line is fine though and it is only YOU who knows how much you want to reveal about yourself on a first date.

But here is the thing. Many women do NOT want to answer very personal questions on a first date and yet the do. Why? Oh, and get this one. It is the “nice-girl-syndrome”. We feel obliged to answer even though we don’t want to.

Dating with success has nothing to do with confession.

You don’t have to answer that which you don’t want to answer to. Period!

On the other hand, of course, you don’t want to come across like the CEO of “Secret Service” or, worse, like a real bitch – which I know you are not because otherwise you wouldn’t be reading this post …

And, fortunately, there are quite a few, other ways to come across as friendly, yet be able to draw the line and to do so with a friendly smile on your face and a humorous sparkle in your eyes and it all has to do with taking your time.

Get Suzette’s Dating Guide today read step no 8 and improve your communication skills …

Keep It Up!

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Some day are up. Some could be more down. That’s part of life.

If you are having a “bad” day, or experiencing a melt down of some kind – and we all do at times – it is important to remember that it is only temporary, and to not let it get in your way of dating with success.

Give yourself permission to feel what ever you feel  – what you cannot feel you cannot heal – but do think of it this way:

The sun is always shining above the clouds. Yes. It’s true and this simple fact is worth keeping in mind on the days that may seem not so sunny. Whatever the challenge may be,  know that it is only temporary.

Read Suzette’s Dating Guide step no 11 and get great tips on how to keep it all up while you are dating with success.