Pause

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In today’s world the high pace of living leaves very little space for pause!

That is sad. Because pauses are key to our overall happiness and to keeping a healthy life balance. Pauses are also crucial to dating with success.

How do you feel if you go on a date while in a stressful state of mind?

Are you able to be fully present with your date?

Most likely the answer is “no” and your state of mind could very well mean the difference between a successful date and a not so successful date.

Being in a relaxed and open state of mind creates a great foundation for a successful date.

So how do you go about pauses, when it seems there is very little time?

  1. Accept that pauses are “need to have” – not “nice to have”
  2. Acknowledge that time has to do with prioritizing
  3. Ask yourself what you could leave out in favor of a short pause?
  4. Give yourself permission to pause in what ever way works best for you
  5. Benefit from the pause

Pauses can be very productive in their own way.

For example even just a 10 minutes break in the form of a power nap could get your create mind going and free it up so that you will come across with a much more clear intention for your first date.

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Read step no 11 and get great tips on how to relax your way to dating with success.

 

 

Beginner’s Mind

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You may be thinking, “what the heck does beginner’s mind have to do with dating with success?” and rightly so, as the term “beginner’s mind” mainly has its roots in zen buddhism and the material arts.

But when you stop to think about it, “beginner’s mind” makes a lot of sense and can be seen as a crucial element to dating with success.

And let me elaborate a bit on what I mean by that.

If you look up “beginner’s mind” in the dictionary it refers to having an attitude of openness, eagerness and lack of preconceptions.

I don’t know about you but I personally much prefer to be meet with an open mind rather than the suffocating feeling that I have to live up to someone’s expectations of how that person wants me to be.

First dates can be loaded with (unrealistic) expectations like that.

Haven’t you ever experienced what it feels like when someone doesn’t see YOU because that person is so preoccupied with their own expectation of how they want you to be? and wouldn’t you so much prefer to be meet with an open mind ?

Being in a “beginner’s state of mind” when you are dating will help you experience the success that you are looking for. And this is worth keeping in mind whether you are on a business date, or a romantic date.

When it comes to dating nothing was ever gained by forcing our own expectations about how we want other people to be upon them.

We all want to feel free to be who we are without the additional pressure of other peoples expectations.

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Read Step NO 8 and get more tips on how to date with success.

 

Compassion

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It’s so easy to judge one another and jump to quick conclusions. 

This is especially likely to happen on a first date since both of you can be a bit nervous.

Consequently we may start to analyze (with SWOT analysis running through our brains) as if a date is some kind of business venture. While the analytical part can be useful, it isn’t really helpful to begin with – at least not, if you want to date with success.

Getting to know each other takes time. Period!

And whether you are on your best date or your worst date, it is crucial to drop the judgment and simply relax into being present with another person. Although being relaxed could be easier said than done, at least try not to get to too “hang up” about the whole thing.

If a date does not go so well, I encourage you to collect your compassion rather than making quick judgment about your date (or yourself).

Simply remember that everyone is probably doing the best that they can, and if someone misbehaves, there is probably a good reason for that.

Don’t take it personally; it rarely is.

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In step no 8 you will learn how to date with success! 

Courage

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The best way to attract your Mr. Right is by being who you are. Period!

Sounds pretty simple right, and most of you would probably agree to that…

However, in this day and age sometimes it is not always as simple as it sounds to “just be who you are”.

The collective messages we get from the media often points in a different direction.

As women (and probably men too) we are constantly bombarded with the underlying message that we are not good enough (looking) as we are, for example we are encouraged conduct to a certain body image, or social behavior.

Many times these messages and images are dictated by advertisement.

We may not think too much about it, as a lot of this kind of stuff takes place unconsciously.

But do stop to think about it! There is a whole industry out there making big money from getting women to buy what ever it takes to look and feel good (enough)”. Everything from make up to cosmetic surgery, clothing, diets and so forth.

Don’t get me wrong. I don’t believe we should go back to being cave women.

Putting your best foot firmly forward is a good thing. However, if you want to date with success and attract your Mr. Right, you have got to be who you are and not adapt to how someone else might want you to look, be or act.

Collect your courage and be the real you! 

GET SUZETTE’S DATING GUIDE TODAY and read step no 1 which is all about being you!

 

Connection

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Connection is a fundamental human need. Period!

Research shows that without connection we (especially as women) are much more likely to feel stressed which really isn’t a great state to be in if you want to date with success.

And more so, in more extreme case, dis-connection can actually lead to addiction (yes, resent research proves that most addictions, like alcohol or drugs are actually due to a sense of isolation and dis-connection).

So where am I going with all of this connection talk?

It simple. The point of this blog is to encourage you to connect and surround yourself with people who are supportive of who you are.

And what does that have to do with dating?

A heck of a lot actually. Because, if you are dating from scarcity (or a stressed state of mind) – meaning that you need a relationship merely to fill up the gap in your stomach – that would be a recipe for disaster and how not to date with success.

(Because most likely you will end up with someone who matches that feeling which is subject for a whole other blog to explore).

Rather, I encourage you to connect with a great group of people (could be anyone with whom you feel a connection) and “fill up your love-cup” before you go dating.

Filling up your love-cup means being real and having real conversations straight from your heart.

So what are ways to connect?

GET SUZETTE’S DATING GUIDE TODAY and get more tips on how to fill up your love-cup, step no 12.

Match – or Not!

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When it comes to dating fear of rejection is often holding us back!

And let’s be honest, “fear of rejection” has cast its nasty spell in other areas of our lives too.

For example, how about job interviews, or selling your ideas to a new customer?

So today, we will look at the fear of rejection and recognize “fear of rejection” for what it is.

First of all, fear takes place in the mind. Fear is NOT something outside of you.

Quite on the contrary, fear lives inside YOUR mind and only you hold the key to change the patterns in your own mind (this can be a hard pill to swallow but it’s true).

Second of all, rejection is not real. 

What?

Yes, it’s true too. Rejection is not real. No one can reject you.

However, they can reject going on a date with you, or what ever it is that you have to offer. But as long as you are alive – and you are, if you are reading this blog – no one can never reject you.

Third of all and most importunely! Either there is a match or a no match, and a match would clearly want to be with you, so why would you want to waste your time on someone who doesn’t want to be with you?

GET SUZETTE’S DATING GUIDE TODAY read step no 8 and learn how to deal with the fear of rejection.

Extra bonus: You can apply this principles to social (or business) dating too!

Healthy Entitlement

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For some reason many of us women seem to source our sense of entitlement from external sources – but that is a sure recipe for how not to date with success.

If this sounds to “woo woo” for you, please let me put it in very simple terms and start out by asking you a short but important question.

How many times have let yourself (your own sense of worthiness) be defined by a man?

And if he left, did your sense of worthiness leave too (as in “gone with the wind”)?

If you want to date with success, you must let yourself (your own sense of worthiness) be defined, not by a man (or any other person for that matter) but, primarily on the worthiness that is already WITHIN YOU – regardless of your single status.

How to access your inner sense of worthiness, does have to do with a certain amount of inner work – sorry girls, there is no way around it – because EVERY great relationship begins with YOU.

But here is the good news:

It is absolutely doable – you don’t have to continue the same old “stories” ….

Read Suzette’s Dating Guide step no 5 and learn how to get started …

Happy Easter

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This is the time to relax a bit, let your hair down, make a cup of tea and read Suzette’s Dating Guide which is a great read for the holidays …

Learn the 12 steps to dating with success. You will be glad that you did.

Dating will take on a new meaning once you read Suzette’s Dating Guide and begin to experience the benefits of knowing the 12 steps to dating with success from the inside out.

Remember every great relationship starts with you.

Suzette’s Dating Guide

Happy Reading and HAPPY EASTER !!